How to really tick off your wife...

dcsnomo

Moderator
OK, so the motel has a fuel oil boiler used for radiators in the apartment and to pre-heat the water for the laundry. It's an older boiler, but it works. I just dread when it fails. While I do most of my own maintenance, I avoid the boiler. It is a big, stinky, noisy machine in its own room and I don't screw with it.

So, the other day it started smoking pretty bad out the chimney. So, I ordered fresh fuel oil thinking the stuff I had might be cruddy. Didn't help, and yesterday the wife is complaining not only about the smoke, but the fumes in the laundry room are getting real bad. I wouldn't know this 'cause I've had a sore throat thing going on and have been avoiding getting near the laundry. So, I go downstairs and it's pretty bad. I call my buddy who is an HVAC guy and he asks when the last time I had it cleaned was. "Oh, about 2 years ago" I replied (actually I think it was 3 years). "Well, dumbass, it has to be done at least every year! I'll come over today and we can clean it."

Sounds like a plan to me. Now, the boiler room is right next to the laundry, you need to remember that detail. I tell my wife that Brian is coming over and we are going to clean the boiler and she asks " Do I have to move the clean towels and floor mats?" "Nah", I replied, "we won't make a mess."

So, my buddy gets his tools, and I go get the shop vac. He opens the boiler and it looks like the seventh level of h*ll in there. We now now why it is smoking. Easy stuff...turn on the shop vac and start cleaning, right? Well, it appears the shop vac has a leak, and all the crap we suck up gets blown right out the side in a big black cloud. And of course, to add to our comfort, we have blocked open the door to the laundry room. So a black cloud about the size of a nuclear test is heading for the laundry room, and of course, the cooling fans are on, so they blow the entire black cloud across all the white shower mats, white towels, and every horizontal surface and appliance in the laundry room.

At this point the damage is done, so we move the shop vac outside and start cleaning again. Now, the black cloud is getting huge, and is carried on the nice breeze across the back of the motel where it decides to enter room #6. I can see it is heading towards rooms 21-29, so I throw a sheet over it, and that seems to somewhat tame the smoking beast. The only good thing that has happened so far is the wife is busy doing her other job and has not come out to check on us.

Additionally, in our determination to get things done I did not turn off any of the 4 dryers, and you might want to remember that, too.

Well, as the old joke goes "And where were you, my good man, when the s**t hit the fan?"
Well, the wife decides to check on us and goes ballistic, and she ain't even been to the laundry room yet. After seeing the 4 inches of black silt in the yard, and the mess in Room 6, she goes down to the laundry room. My buddy has just finished, and he is totally black from head to toe, I am well covered, and she just yells and leaves for a hair appointment, swearing appropriately. Now I, in all my soul brother glory, am left to run the front desk, and of course, it gets busy.

So I get the guests checked in, rooms sold, and decide I should really try hard to clean this up. Did you know that as soon as you touch this stuff with water it turns to grease? Trust me on this, now I have this greasy paste all over the laundry room. So I go get the hose and hose it out as best I can, and get the re-wash going.

Ok, I'm making progress and she isn't back yet. Washers are going, so I decide to fold what was in the dryers. Remember, those would be the dryers I didn't shut off? Do you know what happens to white towels when you put them in a closed drum while wet, and spin them in front of a blower full of boiler scrapings? I bet you can figure it out.

Well, I give up. So I go down to my buddy's restaurant for a glass of KJ Chardonnay and a burrito, nice meal, relaxing. I go home, figure I can beat the wife in the door, slam down some NyQuil (remember, I have a cold) and pass out in the otherworld sleep only NyQuil can deliver. Oh, but no...the wife is home looking like the wicked witch of the west 'cause she had to leave the beauty parlor with the goop in her hair 'cause I screwed up her whole day and the grocery store closed early and she hasn't eaten and I've got a belly full of good wine and Mexican food.

Well, it is now 6:20, nearly a full 24 hours from this event, and she finally came out to speak to me. Women...ya just can' figure 'em out!

By the way, the boiler doesn't smoke!
 
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Bradzoo

Active member
Oh my eye's are watering terribly, I was laughing so hard at your misfortune, glad it wasn't me, my wife knows how to use a gun, Hope your cold is better
 
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peter

Member
next time run an exhaust hose off the vacume into a bucket of water. I know to well what that black stuff can do.
 
you forgot part of the story dude.....

then later on that nite i wiped it off on the drapes and .....BOY DID THAT GET HER HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

mrsrunningbear

Active member
For a while it looked like I was gonna be the maintenance man at the Running Bear after I got tossed out on the street!

Hmmmm 2 maintenance men at the Running Bear I don't know about that.... I think Mike would like that but me :confused: could be scary with you two or very funny LOL

Glad she let you back in :)
 
That never gets them HOT, only mad. So I've been told.

she was already MAD though...thought he wanted to ramp it up a notch above the wine and fajita's nite out at the bar without her....only one thing gonna ramp it above that....the ole DRAPE thing POLARISRIDER1 woulda done it fer sure ima thinkin'.........no?
 

snobuilder

Well-known member
i swear the guy who invented the cheap shop vacs with the paper filters, is LOL ing all the way to he bank....I have yet to use one that didn't take the mess you are trying to remove and spread it out over a 1/2 acre.
talk about something that should be banned from the planet!!!!
don't cheap out ppl ,....get the one with the round pleated filter, so when I borrow it I won't curse your name. LOL
 

anonomoose

New member
Can YOU belieeeeeve the gall of some women. Here you are, could have been out fish'n...playing checkers, but NOOOOOO...you have to clean a boiler which frankly was workin just fine...save for the EPA requirements.

And SHE thinks that this Maintenance stuff is easy....well next time this happens, just tell her that the black on the towels and mats are an ACT OF GOD, and EVERYONE KNOWS....you don't mess with GOD! Then tell her that when you make a cake, you have to crack some eggs, and if that doesn't register with her, then you simply tell her the "parts are on order" and grab the fishing rod....

You know...you have to wonder how these women were trained to think like this??? You give them the best part of your life, then YAH die....and they end up marrying someone who has MONEY!

That's gratitude furyah....

(btw, Tums work wonders for dat dar mexican style food...might want to take some along wit yah when the next trip occurs.)
 
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