skidoodood
New member
Made me laugh hysterically.........
My favorite is #11. I hit that at 9:00 this morning.......
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
>
> 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
>
> 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
>
> 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
>
> 5. How the **** are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
>
> 6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
>
> 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
>
> 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
>
> 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
>
> 10. Bad decisions make good stories.
>
> 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
>
> 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
>
> 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
>
> 14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
>
> 15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
>
> 16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
>
> 17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
>
> 18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
>
> 19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
>
> 20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
>
> 21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
>
> 22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
>
> 23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
>
> The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.
> That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
>
> Ladies.....Quit Laughing.
My favorite is #11. I hit that at 9:00 this morning.......
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
>
> 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
>
> 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
>
> 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
>
> 5. How the **** are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
>
> 6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
>
> 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
>
> 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
>
> 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
>
> 10. Bad decisions make good stories.
>
> 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
>
> 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
>
> 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
>
> 14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
>
> 15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
>
> 16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
>
> 17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
>
> 18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
>
> 19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
>
> 20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
>
> 21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
>
> 22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
>
> 23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
>
> The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.
> That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
>
> Ladies.....Quit Laughing.
