The Ghost of Rodney Dangerfield

gary_in_neenah

gary_in_neenah

Super Moderator
Staff member
I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.

You can tell a lot about my wife's mood just by her hands. If she's holding a gun, she's probably angry.

I don't like making plans for the day because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.

Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers. If you find one, what's your plan?
 
D

dcsnomo

Moderator
I was leaving for work today and when I picked up my briefcase the handle fell off.
I went to open the door and the knob fell off.
I'm afraid to go to the bathroom!
 
skiroule

skiroule

Well-known member
I went to the doctor the other day and the Doc says "You're fat." Fat! I'd like a second opinion. Doc say "OK, you're ugly too."

And who could forget the classic lines to Judge Smail's wife in Caddy Shack: "I'll bet you were something before electricity." and of course "How'd you like to make fourteen bucks the hard way?"
 
L

latner

Active member
skiroule said:
I went to the doctor the other day and the Doc says "You're fat." Fat! I'd like a second opinion. Doc say "OK, you're ugly too."

And who could forget the classic lines to Judge Smail's wife in Caddy Shack: "I'll bet you were something before electricity." and of course "How'd you like to make fourteen bucks the hard way?"
Click to expand...

"last time I saw a mouth like that...it had a hook in it!"
 
U

Usd2bable2ride

New member
"When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my Mother" ~ Rodney Dangerfield

"This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me" ~ Rodney Dangerfield

"My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat" ~ Rodney Dangerfield

"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it" ~ Rodney Dangerfield

"My cousin's gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock" ~ Rodney Dangerfield
 
snomoman

snomoman

Active member
Rodney Dangerfield was quite a humanitarian, he gave a lot of comedians their first starts in his club,
before he was a comedian he sold aluminum siding, One story that really sticks out is he was hired to go on the Ed Sullivan show and got paid $1000, well when that show aired he was installing aluminum siding at someone’s house and asked if he could watch the TV in the house, well him and the house owner watched the show together, It was quite a surprise when the house owner saw Rodney Dangerfield on TV, LOL
 
gary_in_neenah

gary_in_neenah

Super Moderator
Staff member
Rodney 1.jpg rodney 2.jpg

Oh man, I'm down with the flu this weekend and if this guy can make me laugh when feeling this bad....he was a true legend.
 
W

wirev

New member
I checked into a hotel. I asked the bellhop to to handle my bag. He started to feel up my wife. I said to him, "Hey buddy, who told you you can play around with my wife? He replied, Everybody.
My wife can't cook. I leave dental floss in the kitchen and the roaches hang themselves.
I told my wife that our kid is spoiled. She said a lot of kids smelled that way.
When I was born, the doctor told my mother, I did all I could do, but he pulled through anyway.

Love Caddyshack
 
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T

Tracker

Guest
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could,......




but he pulled through."

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.


I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
 
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virgil

New member
yesterday I had a craving for nuts.....so I spent the day with my wife and her mother

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I looked up my family tree 2 dogs were using it

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told my dentist to put in a tooth to match the others....he put in a tooth with 4 cavities.
 
T

Tracker

Guest
I tell ya my old man was strict. He said, "No drinking in the house." I had two brothers who died of thirst


Once on my birthday, my old man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.
 
snomoman

snomoman

Active member
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations,
we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together

Let’s not forget Rodney’s 4 most famous words,
“I GET NO RESPECT”
 
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