Training for all new Snowmobilers

Admin

Administrator
Staff member
How to Prepare for Snowmobiling


1. Go to your local snowmobile dealer, smile and give the first guy you see
$200. This will get you used to spending money there on a regular basis.

2. Fill a 45-gallon barrel with sand. Lower it into a hole. Now lift it out.

If you can, add water to the sand and try it again. Do this 5 times per day.

This will get your back in shape for lifting your sled out of the deep snow.

3. Tie a rope to a heavy-duty spring. Pull the rope repeatedly with each arm
until the pain in your shoulders meets somewhere in middle your back.
This will get you in shape for starting your bud's sled, which he
conveniently forgot was out of gas. It's best to do this exercise while
someone is spraying starting fluid into your nose and eyes also.

4. Drink four ounces of cod liver oil mixed with a strong laxative.
Dress with long underwear, wool pants, snowmobile bibs, insulated boots and
heavy coat. Walk far into the woods without any paper products and wait for
a personal emergency. This get you prepare for the Beer ****s that come out
of nowhere, and at the wrong time.

5. Place your hands in a bucket of ice water for 20 minutes. Put the
carburetor from your lawn mower in the bottom of your deep freeze. Now
climb in the deep freeze, shut the lid and overhaul it while holding a pen
light in your mouth. This gets you prepared to work on your sled in the freezing

cold and black of night. Advanced riders do this with a leatherman tool.


6. Dress up in your new $350 snowmobile bibs. Pour 2 stroke oil down the
right leg, gasoline down the other and Peppermint Schnapps and Beer all over the
front. Fill your boots with ice cubes and ask your wife or girlfriend to
dance. This will prepare her for the stops at the local bars during a ride.

7. Put on a Balaclava and a full-face helmet. Attempt to drink hot chocolate
through the opening. Advanced riders attempt this while riding a lawn
tractor over in the nearest farmers' plowed field.

8. Find a place where you can pay $3.50 a litre for regular gas; $19.99 per
litre of oil; $16 for a Hamburger and frozen French Fries; $3 for a coke and
$160 to sleep in a cold cabin on a bed with springs sticking through the
mattress. Stay for two nights, minimum. This will prepare you on the high
cost of your future winter trips.

9. Practice explaining to your banker why you need another loan for a
$70,000 truck to pull the four $20,000 sleds, on your $15,000 trailer that you still
owe $50,000 on.

Now, you are 50% ready, and somewhat conditioned to head for the trails and
ride your sled.

-John
 

jmag

Member
you might also want to get into your car/truck, drive 400 miles, do all the above, then drive back next day (no snow).
 

doomsman

New member
4. Drink four ounces of cod liver oil mixed with a strong laxative.
Dress with long underwear, wool pants, snowmobile bibs, insulated boots and
heavy coat. Walk far into the woods without any paper products and wait for
a personal emergency. This get you prepare for the Beer ****s that come out
of nowhere, and at the wrong time.


That part made me snort. Good one John.
 

doo_dr

New member
You forgot to add; While dressed in your gear, have your wife tow you in your kids Radio Flyer wagon down the rumble strips on the local Highway. This simutales the dreaded Trial 2 on Saturday night!!!!!
 

Admin

Administrator
Staff member
I cannot claim ownership of the list. It was sent to me by a friend, I just thought I would pass it along.

-John
 

cooksend

Active member
This needs to be sent to every Sled Manufacture for review at the next board meeting! While a bit exagerrated it pretty much sums it up!

Broke as a joke, sore as heck and smiling ear to ear! Yep thats snowmobiling...
 

cuzzinolaf

Well-known member
10. Glue a broom to your MX helmet, try to put as many yard tools as you can fit into your largest bookbag, and stand on your newly purchased sled. Now, have your buddies repeatly shake the sled and pick up the front and drop it as you scream ring ding braap, ring ding braap, ring ding braap and pretend you're going past Parkview trying to look cool to all of the sledders outside.
 

peter

Member
Thats good. Don't forget to pull a all nighter. Work 10 hrs, come home load up sleds and gear, pick up your buddy, his sled and gear, drive 400 miles in the truck then unload sleds and ride 100-300 miles on sleds.
 

anonomoose

New member
Dear John...

I was considering taking the plunge and going for a ride with you and your gang.

On second thought....I think I need to stay home and wash my hair.

Your kind of rid'n....doesn't sound all that much fun...but then who am I???
 
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