- You were buried beneath an avalanche of empty Starbucks cups when you opened the door. - Yup, probably your wife.
- There's a mailbox in the radiator - Always a telltale sign.
- Taylor Swift is still playing on the radio - Obviously, you would never...
- Hub Caps on the two front tires are missing and it looks like Antlers in the grill. "Oh Dear".
- The front is smashed, the airbags are deployed, fluid is leaking out the bottom, and it's currently being towed - Subtle, but a strong indicator.
Sound like anybody you know. Yeah, same here!