This thread is hilarious. I can totally see mosquito (or my husband) trying to cook a grilled cheese directly on the burner. And 'sometimes even the slowest buffalo gets away' was the icing on the cake. My only 'nightmare' happened when I had made a lasagna and was getting it out of the oven- don't know how- but I dropped it- upside down. So the entire thing fell out onto the oven door. I scoopped it back into the pan and it tasted fine- just didn't look so pretty.
Also- I love Chef Ramsey. That moron from 'le bistro' was an idiot. Get over yourself!
Obviously, the "5 second rule" applies at your house, or you literally can eat off your floors!!