English
- Thread starter 14snow
- Start date
Maybe we should stop taking in non-English speaking boarders, inside our borders too?
indy_500
Well-known member
The thing that kills me, is the (insert blank) kids at school get a special teacher who helps them with homework and tests and they end up on the A honor roll. They get a detention? their special teacher talks to the teacher who gave it to them and gets them out of it.
English Language - Read up on it!
English teachers will enjoy this!
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
One index, 2 indices?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'?
You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?
Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.
We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
At other times the little word has real special meaning.
People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.
In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.
It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.
When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so … it is time to shut UP!
(Author unknown.)
English teachers will enjoy this!
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
One index, 2 indices?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'?
You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?
Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.
We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
At other times the little word has real special meaning.
People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.
In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.
It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.
When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so … it is time to shut UP!
(Author unknown.)
yeah I have a question why is the USA citizenship test given in more than just English now days? was not that way 15 yrs ago.
I guess my last post got killed. It was a little harsh. Just don't put up with the "overseas" customer service. If you need help, DEMAND to speak to someone in the USA. Don't give up after talking to "Peggy".
Sorry for being harsh. I have to deal with it every day for clients.
Dave
Sorry for being harsh. I have to deal with it every day for clients.
Dave
G
G
Guest
Perfect.I was booking in an inmate one night,...
One thing we have to do is count their money and deposit it in our "machine",....
(They get a check when they are released)
Anyway,... This one dude was giving me the old "No ahblay English" line,... SO,.....
As I was counting his bills BEFORE I put them in the machine (which manually counts it),...
He had around 450 bucks
Another Officer asks me,.. "How much did he have there?"
I reply: "145 bucks"
He THEN "alertly" replies quite clearly,... "Thats B.S. Man,.... I had over 400 bucks there!"
THEN,... realizes he can speak English quite well,... and we busted him at his own game.
Always works.
WE had to learn it,....
So can THEY.
windingtrailgal
Active member
I live in Chicagoland area...there are times when between the Spanish, Polish and Ebonics all around me I'm GLAD the customer service sucks and they don't bother to speak to me...not like I could understand them anyway!
The flip side are my Turkish neighbors who ask me questions all the time to make sure they have it right, are saying it correctly...they just want to learn. But then again, it's not like they can speak to anyone around here in Turkish?!!
Frnash...my 10 year old the other day asked me why something can't be the funnest when something can be the dumbest...ummmmmm... ;0
The flip side are my Turkish neighbors who ask me questions all the time to make sure they have it right, are saying it correctly...they just want to learn. But then again, it's not like they can speak to anyone around here in Turkish?!!
Frnash...my 10 year old the other day asked me why something can't be the funnest when something can be the dumbest...ummmmmm... ;0
bobsledder
New member
I doubt they all speek english
Tyson Food in Shelbyville, Tennessee has eliminated Labor Day as a paid holiday in favor of the last day of Ramadan because they have 700 Muslim employees. The fact that they have almost that many non-muslim employees is beside the point apparently!
I will no longer purchase any Tyson products. It's just one more little chunk of America that's been bitten off. If you wish to join me, then let your e-mail friends know this. If we don't stand up for something we will fall for anything.
All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.
This was verified snopes.com <http://snopes..com/> <http://snopes.com/ <http://snopes.com/> > .
1. snopes.com: Tyson Foods Muslim Holiday <http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/tyson.asp>
Employees of a Tyson Foods plant in Tennessee will be given a paid day off for the Muslim holiday of Eid al-Fitr.
...a Tyson Foods plant in Tennessee will be given a paid day off for the Muslim holiday of Eid al-Fitr. ...drops Labor Day holiday for Eid al-Fitr You can bet that this action by Tyson is only the beginning to removing more of the holidays and other symbols...
...Times-Gazette reported that workers at the local Tyson Foods' poultry processing plant would no longer have a paid day off on...
Mon, 24 Jan 2011 12:41:03 GMT http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/tyson.asp <http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/tyson.asp>
2. snopes.com: Where's the Outrage - Alisa Wilson <http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/outrage.asp>
Letter to the 'Wall Street Journal' responds to a 'Where's the Outrage?' editorial?
...Food Glurge Gallery History Holidays Horrors Humor Inboxer Rebellion Language Legal Lost Legends Love Luck Media Matters...
...from Muslims. Just this week, Tyson's Food negotiated with its union to permit Muslims to have Eid-al-Fitr as a holiday instead of Labor Day. What am I...
...am I missing? Yes, there is a large Somali Muslim population working at the Tyson's plant in Tennessee. Tennessee, last I checked, is still part of the...
Mon, 24 Jan 2011 12:47:06 GMT http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/outrage.asp <http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/outrage.asp>
WOW I CANT SPELL SPEAK in the headline thanks in advance frnash
Tyson Food in Shelbyville, Tennessee has eliminated Labor Day as a paid holiday in favor of the last day of Ramadan because they have 700 Muslim employees. The fact that they have almost that many non-muslim employees is beside the point apparently!
I will no longer purchase any Tyson products. It's just one more little chunk of America that's been bitten off. If you wish to join me, then let your e-mail friends know this. If we don't stand up for something we will fall for anything.
All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.
This was verified snopes.com <http://snopes..com/> <http://snopes.com/ <http://snopes.com/> > .
1. snopes.com: Tyson Foods Muslim Holiday <http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/tyson.asp>
Employees of a Tyson Foods plant in Tennessee will be given a paid day off for the Muslim holiday of Eid al-Fitr.
...a Tyson Foods plant in Tennessee will be given a paid day off for the Muslim holiday of Eid al-Fitr. ...drops Labor Day holiday for Eid al-Fitr You can bet that this action by Tyson is only the beginning to removing more of the holidays and other symbols...
...Times-Gazette reported that workers at the local Tyson Foods' poultry processing plant would no longer have a paid day off on...
Mon, 24 Jan 2011 12:41:03 GMT http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/tyson.asp <http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/tyson.asp>
2. snopes.com: Where's the Outrage - Alisa Wilson <http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/outrage.asp>
Letter to the 'Wall Street Journal' responds to a 'Where's the Outrage?' editorial?
...Food Glurge Gallery History Holidays Horrors Humor Inboxer Rebellion Language Legal Lost Legends Love Luck Media Matters...
...from Muslims. Just this week, Tyson's Food negotiated with its union to permit Muslims to have Eid-al-Fitr as a holiday instead of Labor Day. What am I...
...am I missing? Yes, there is a large Somali Muslim population working at the Tyson's plant in Tennessee. Tennessee, last I checked, is still part of the...
Mon, 24 Jan 2011 12:47:06 GMT http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/outrage.asp <http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/outrage.asp>
WOW I CANT SPELL SPEAK in the headline thanks in advance frnash
Last edited:
favoritos
Well-known member
Frnash thanks for the english lesson, now my brain hurts!... Even more so than usual.
I like the UP version with two of these . . included.
I can personally attest to the reality of English and American being two distinctly different languages.
They fixed the German language a few years ago, maybe we need to fix English/American? The letter sounds were made consistant. Kat vs cat, katch vs catch = the "K" sound already in kitchen. Words with double meanings were somewhat differentiated as well. He "sawe" the "saw" cutting wood, is one example.
I remain bloody gobsmacked and lose understanding with some of the loose word use I see every day. I'm still trying to learn, and the lessons from Frnash help.
BTW, I live with someone that fluently speaks German, French, Italian, English and an ancient language. They were learned in that order and her English is better than many Americans. Her writing skills are better than most and I get in trouble at times.
My wife and I just picked up a cross border load in San Diego, CA. We picked up the load from a facility that uses Mexican trucks to bring loads across and then take emptys back to be loaded or vis-versa.
We stopped at a small fuel stop just before we picked up which is just a mile or so from the border crossing. We grabbed a bite to eat and while we were sitting next to Subway, there was a family of 5 or 6 behind us. They all we gibbering in spanish. When they got up to leave they sought out a caucasian lady and asked her in very broken english 'way to social security office'? The woman had no idea where it was but it looked as though they had just got across the border...down there its hard to tell.
We see it everyday. Drivers that can speak little or no english but have CDL's issued by a US state. I'm not talking so much about south of the border drivers but those from middle eastern nations. Many of their driving hadits do not reflect anything I was taught. The are aggressive, rude and have no problem throwing their trash on the ground. Most of them don't shower but once every week or two. It almost enough to make you puke to have to stand in line for your fuel ticket.
I know of a major truck dealer that had a mid-eastern truck in for repair. There was an incrediable stench in the shop. When they were under the truck diagnosing the repair they found a hole cut in the floor. The 3 men in the truck used it to sh*t and p*ss.... the shop forman could not believe it. When they looked under the truck at the frame and drives, there was crap packed into every place you could imagine. The forman told them to leave and never bring that truck back....
Its getting worse everyday... the fear years ago was that Japan was buying all our big businesses. Well, its way past that now.
Dog
We stopped at a small fuel stop just before we picked up which is just a mile or so from the border crossing. We grabbed a bite to eat and while we were sitting next to Subway, there was a family of 5 or 6 behind us. They all we gibbering in spanish. When they got up to leave they sought out a caucasian lady and asked her in very broken english 'way to social security office'? The woman had no idea where it was but it looked as though they had just got across the border...down there its hard to tell.
We see it everyday. Drivers that can speak little or no english but have CDL's issued by a US state. I'm not talking so much about south of the border drivers but those from middle eastern nations. Many of their driving hadits do not reflect anything I was taught. The are aggressive, rude and have no problem throwing their trash on the ground. Most of them don't shower but once every week or two. It almost enough to make you puke to have to stand in line for your fuel ticket.
I know of a major truck dealer that had a mid-eastern truck in for repair. There was an incrediable stench in the shop. When they were under the truck diagnosing the repair they found a hole cut in the floor. The 3 men in the truck used it to sh*t and p*ss.... the shop forman could not believe it. When they looked under the truck at the frame and drives, there was crap packed into every place you could imagine. The forman told them to leave and never bring that truck back....
Its getting worse everyday... the fear years ago was that Japan was buying all our big businesses. Well, its way past that now.
Dog
mjkaliszak
New member
That's disqusting , that's how they live, they have facebook in bosnia but no roads. You should see mexico. The turn off the sanitary system at night in Torreon mexico ( 1.3 million people approx ) to save money ??? In the morning it smells like shat right in the downtown area where the college & the Hilton is ???? Did anyone ever frequent the International terminals in our airports ??? They stink , there are guy's that have suits on worth the price of a new sled and they smell like a dead animal. What is our counrty turning into ??? I don't know about this " polish stuff " mentioned in previous posts but my ancestors came here legally, learned the language, worked in coal mines and the textile industry and paid taxes. They didn't have much when they got off the boat but they lived clean....
The "Polish stuff" came from a poster who lives in the Chicago area, which has the highest concentration of Polish immigrants in the country. If you work in an office building downtown it is quite likely your office is cleaned by a Pole.
While this info is a bit dated (2000), it does provide insight into the Polish community in Chicago:
This report describes the Polish American population
of metropolitan Chicago using Census 2000 data
in terms of the size and key characteristics of the
community. The findings of this report include:
The Polish American Population
In the year 2000 there were 933,000 persons of Polish
ancestry in the state of Illinois. Some 65 percent of all
Poles live in the suburbs of Chicago, 23 percent live in
Chicago, and 12 percent live downstate.
Overall, Polish Americans born in the U.S. have
relatively high levels of homeownership, education,
and income. However, about 62,000 Polish Americans
in the metro Chicago area are below 150 percent of the
poverty line. This is the equivalent of only $22,890 in
annual income for a family of three.
Polish Immigrants
Polish immigrants have been present in Chicago
for well over a century. There were 25,726 Polish
immigrants in the metro area in 1890, and by 1920
the population reached 151,260.
There are 139,000 Polish immigrants in the Chicago
area, a level approaching the historical high of 165,000
reached in 1930.
Nearly one third or 29.9 percent of all Polish
immigrants in the United States live in the Chicago
area.
The Polish immigrant population in the city of
Chicago, at nearly 70,000 persons, is the largest in
the United States.
Currently about 40 percent of all Polish immigrants
are U.S. citizens. This citizenship rate grows steadily
the longer that immigrants live here. Nearly 90 percent
of metro Chicago Polish immigrants who have lived in
the U.S. since 1965 are citizen